Nonviolence is absolute commitment to the way of love. Love is not emotional bash; it is not empty sentimentalism. It is the active outpouring of one’s whole being into the being of another.

– Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., 1957

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April 4th brings the 17th Annual Season for Nonviolence event to a close. This annual 64 day campaign, co-founded in 1998 by Dr. Arun Gandhi and The Association for Global New Thought (AGNT), spanning from January 30th – April 4th, the memorial anniversaries of Mahatma Gandhi and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. It is a time when focus is brought to the philosophy of attaining peace through nonviolent action. It is so wonderful to honor these profound wayshowers as well as recognize that  living from a consciousness of peace, love, compassion, empathy, nonviolence, forgiveness and reconciliation is an everyday practice not an event..
 
There is no greater crucible for the practice of nonviolence, peace and compassion than partnering and co-parenting. I heard a mom say recently that, “world peace begins at home.” I am in complete agreement, however, how many people can say that they grew up in families where peace, love, compassion, kindness, generosity, empathy and connected communication was practiced? 
 
Being in relationship is a work of the heart. It is a deeply spiritual practice. I often joke that it’s like putting miracle grow on the places within us that are seeking nurturing, loving and healing. Add a child or children to the mix and parenting becomes a whole different adventure. There’s nothing more heartrending than seeing the crumpled face and fear in your child’s eyes when you and partner fight in front of them or lash out at them in anger. Every child wants their parents to get along. It hurts them deeply when they see and hear their parents being hurtful to one another. The impact of parents not getting along on children is something that takes a long time to transcend. A child begins to believe about themselves what they see and hear in their house from their parents and it becomes their inner voice. Here are some questions to consider:
  • Do you find yourself arguing with your partner over parenting choices?
  • Do you wish that you could communicate with your partner or the parent of your child in a more peaceful way? 
  • Do you find yourself sniping or yelling at your partner in front of your children?
  • Is being right very important to you, especially with your partner?
  • Do you ever find yourself taking out your anger at your partner on your children?
If you answered YES to any of these questions, join me, Sunday, April 6, 2:30-4:30pm at the Agape International Spiritual Center where we will explore the 4 Keys to Co-Parenting Peacefully.
 
The bliss, ecstasy and everything falling into place that we see unfold in tv shows and movies doesn’t typically occur off the screen. Real life relating can be messy and unpredictable. Even, and, especially, when you’re on a spiritual path. It can be mystifying how calm and centered you might be in your meditation or at your spiritual community yet one wrong word or look from your partner and it’s like kerosene to your being and you flip your lid. When family of origin issues emerge, you may find yourself communicating in ways that are ineffective and combative. This doesn’t mean that you’re bad and wrong or that the person you’re with is bad or wrong. It’s just an indication that deeper work is calling us forth. Most of us weren’t shown how to have healthy, conscious, intimate relationships. Most clients I sit with didn’t grow up seeing conflicts resolved through compassionate, connected communication. And, like it or not, what we don’t address, and, embrace, we usually repeat. 
 
If you’d like to experience greater peace in your co-parenting relationship and in your relating, join me for the 4 Keys to Co-Parent Peacefully presentation Sunday, April 6, 2:30-4:30, at the monthly Parenting Ministry meeting at the Agape International Spiritual Center5700 Buckingham Parkway, Culver City, 90230.
 
You will leave with:
  • 4 keys to Co-Parent peacefully
  • Tools to communicate from a nonviolent, compassionate and connected place
  • Powerful strategies to unhook yourself when triggered
  • Ways to repair any ruptures with your partners, co-parents and children
This is an adults only workshop. Love donations are welcome. Childcare will be offered at $5 per child. You must RSVP so that we are sure to have childcare. RSVP:  parentingministry@agapelive.com
 
Until next time, know that you are powerful beyond measure and loved beyond description. 
 
Peace and many blessings, 
Wendy Silvers' signature- just name
Director, Agape Parenting Ministry
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Are you a busy mama? Or, know one? Gift yourself or someone you know with Balance for Busy Moms, an international bestseller. My chapter is, Rock Yo Mama Self: 4 Pathways to Activate your WOMB wisdom.  You’ll both be so happy you did. Mothers’ Day is every day!  http://amzn.to/1gjxGgn
 

 

 

Balance for Busy Moms is an International Best-seller!!  Get it Now!

1965057_567861576655267_1968951353_nIt’s official — this brilliant compendium of information, resources, tips and tools is an International Best-Seller!!
And, yours truly is one of its authors!! My chapter is:
Rock Yo Mama Self: 4 Pathways to Activate your WOMB Wisdom.

Are you a busy mama? Or, know one? Gift yourself or someone you know with this book. You’ll both be so happy you did. Mother’s Day is every day! 





~ Wendy Silvers, Spiritual Midwife, Helping Moms Birth and Earth their Visions onto BEing,
and Founder of the Million Mamas Movement

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9 Steps to Family Forgiveness

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It’s hard to believe that summer is coming to an end. It seems as though it flew by. My oldest nephew leaves for college in a week, which is stunning to me because it seems like just yesterday he was a baby. Much as I would like to, I don’t get to see him very often, as he lives far from us. We talk about visiting, though it gets a bit complicated because of his parents’ divorce years ago.

As you reflect on your summer, are your thoughts filled with cherished memories of special quality time spent with extended family? Or are your memories of family togetherness tinged with thoughts of emotionally-charged moments? Reuniting with family can feel warm and fuzzy and wonderful, or it can be like visiting a dangerous neighborhood that triggers hyper-vigilance as you watch your step and watch your back.

Unresolved and festering feelings can throw a serious wrench in family fun, especially when one feels injured by another person’s words and behavior. And whatever the infraction may have been, if it is unresolved, it seems to grow with time. Do you ever find yourself having an imaginary conversation with the person you feel wronged you? Well, maybe you haven’t, but I’ve sure done this. So, off we go to reunions and have a great time — or we come back with more grudges. What sets the tone for a pleasant experience or a dreadful experience? Forgiveness.

Forgiveness is for YOU. It’s your liberation from the relentless re-experiencing of a hurt. It releases you from the gnawing feeling of ick you feel inside each time you hear the person’s name or see their face. In certain cases, not remaining in touch with a family member makes absolute sense. If you fear for your physical or emotional safety, distancing yourself may be wise. In other situations, when the idea of forgiveness is presented, many people balk. “But he, but she, but they,” is a common refrain. Yet what is the most self-loving act to take? To forgive another and let go of harboring a new resentment or a longstanding one is a high act of self-liberation. Forgiveness is a simple choice to make but not always easy to do, especially when we feel we are right.

Forgiveness is not about condoning what occurred; it is about freeing up psychic energy that whirls inside of you so that your heart is more open. The truth is that when we nurse resentments and hold unforgiveness, the object of our disdain is usually doing fine, thank you very much. So, who’s the one who’s imprisoned? Buddha said, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”

I practice forgiveness on a daily basis because I want to feel good. I make a choice to live with an open heart. Here’s what I do to help me free myself of resentment, which leads to unforgiveness, a grimace on my face, a closed heart and lots of noise in my head. It can take me a minute at times to feel the release or even recognize that the agada I’m feeling inside stems from unforgiveness. As I said, it’s a practice. If I still feel upset about the person or situation, I repeat the process.

1.  Write a Letter
I write a letter to the person, place or situation that I feel resentment toward. I let it rip, with no edits. But I don’t send it, of course. When it’s complete, I read it to a dear and trusted friend who knows that I’ve just lost my mind for a minute. And then I burn it.

2.  Set an Intention
I do not do anything without first setting an intention for what I want to experience in any interaction or situation. These are the questions to ask yourself: What do I want to experience? What am I bringing to this interaction and/or situation? Change the focus so that it’s not on what you’re going to get. Be prepared before you step into the room with your family members. Consider what example you are setting for your children. Children remember what you do more than what you say.

3.  Define Forgiveness
Many times there’s a misconception that forgiving is condoning, and that’s not the case. Forgiveness sets us free rather than keeping us in emotional bondage to the experience and to the person(s) involved. Keep in mind the old adage, “Would you rather be happy or right?”

4.  Explore Your Expectations
I continually explore expectations of myself, other people and situations so that I am not blindsided by the subtle act of setting myself up for disappointment. What yardstick am I measuring myself against? Was there an unexpressed expectation? Are you expecting people to be who they’re not? Expectations can be premeditated resentments.

5. Consider Your Personal Payoff for Holding a Grudge
Ooh, this one is a doozy to look at. Many times there can be a false sense of empowerment or self-righteous anger over something that occurred, and people can be reluctant to let go of this. The right use of anger is different than self-righteous anger.

6. Communicate
How do you communicate? When we’re attached to being “right,” it leaves little room for understanding each other’s needs. If you communicate through the stink eye, smoldering silence, snide, biting comments, or slamming cabinets and doors, make the decision to practice compassionate communication so that resolution may be reached.

7. Self-love
Don’t beat yourself up. Don’t speak to yourself meanly. Be kind to yourself. And if that looks like removing yourself from negative conversation and behavior, do so. Do not fall prey to the false belief that it is noble to remain in situations that are unacceptable to get them right. Sometimes love says “enough is enough.”

8. Be Willing to See Yourself, People and Situations Differently
Most people are doing the best they can in any given situation. Their best may not work for you, but your best may not work for them, either.

9. Remain Open to Miracles
Miracles are available to us at all times. Miracles are shifts in consciousness that occur all the time. Be open to something unexpected and magnificent happening right before your eyes.

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This article was originally published on Huffington Post, 8/18/2012

Tips to Rock Yo Mama Self

After the shooting occurred in Newtown, Ct., I felt moved to write this piece. We may never know the why something like this happens. All we may have are strands of information and snippets of truth. We never know another souls’ journey really.

Blessings to all who were involved in this tragic  event.

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/wendy-silvers/grief_b_2327138.html.

When I first heard about the Trayvon Martin/George Zimmerman incident, I knew I had to write something about it. I felt that it spoke to the inherent goals of the Million Mamas Movement. Please read.

Million Mamas Movement – Every child safe …

A Conversation That Will Heal the World by Natalie Kling


My dearest women,

Are you hearing the call? Are you feeling the urgency? Is your heart pounding with the anticipation of a major shift?

You are indeed being called to the most important task of you life.

You are being called to recognize that the mayhem and insanity of our world, can be healed by you.

If we are to see peace in our lifetimes, then we best get busy recognizing the greatness within ourselves. We ARE the ones we’ve been waiting for. It is time to reach into the depths of our hearts and stand for the love, the compassion, the creativity, the wisdom and the fearlessness that is already there. It is time to look in the mirror and see the goddess that knows enough, has studied enough, has experienced enough to say, “Enough!”

YOU are the leader that will bring us out of despair. You are the powerhouse, the healer, the inspiration we need to come together. You must take a stand so that the women around you will have the courage to stand up too.

The only problem with the world is the problem within you and me that makes us think we are not enough. Every atrocity at every level is because somebody has forgotten who they are. They believe the doubts and the fears within themselves and so they take down the ones around them.

We do it, too, everyday, in smaller, perhaps more passive ways. And everyday we risk the possibilities being expressed in another because we are convincing people that we are not the most brilliant, gorgeous, intelligent, creative beings on the planet, and neither are they.

Wrong! We ARE in fact full of light and joy and unbridled passion and we know it. So live it. Be it. Exemplify it. Live as if everything you do and say is God speaking to God. Infuse love into every dull and fascinating moment of your life.

But, you say, there are good reasons to be upset, unhappy, depressed, frustrated, tired, sick, afraid. I know. Stand up ANYWAY! We are not being called to be perfect, or unscathed. We are being called to stand up with all our flaws and scars and vulnerabilities and failures and mistakes, because we know that these are necessary to be whole, to be complete, to be real, to be a strong woman who is ready to let go.

It’s not a time to count our losses. We’ve done that. It’s time to believe that we are more than all that. So much more. That we have access to all the healing, all the wisdom, all the love and all the comfort we need. We must commit to whatever practices will get us there. And get there! Fast!

When we stand for our light and the power we have to love and forgive and create, then we stand for that same power in each other. When we stand united in our greatness and possibility dear sisters, then we stand for our men, and for our children to do the same. And when we stand for long enough, with enough of our sisters and brothers and humanity, then we can have a new conversation. A conversation worth having. A conversation that will give us the ride of our lives, that will fill us with the joy, the freedom, and the deep fulfillment we’ve been seeking. A conversation that will heal the world.

With great love,

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7 Questions to Spot-check Your Spiritual Alignment
by “Mama” Wendy Silvers, founder of Million Mamas Movement


Here are 7 questions to ask yourself when you’re wondering whether what you’re saying and doing is “spiritual.”

12 Steps to Help You Talk With Your Children About Suicide

 

Since the suicide of beloved Robin Williams‘ last week, magazines, as is the case, have featured him on the covers with daily reports on the details of his death prevalent in the media. What do you say to a shorty who’s asking about Robin’s death? I’ve counseled adults whose spouses have died and they’ve shared with me how uncomfortable some people, even the most well-meaning, can be talking about death when their loved ones have died. They’ve said that some people act as though they’re afraid of catching death. (This sense of contagion can also be the case when couples divorce). The children I’ve counseled expressed their grief in different ways just as adults do. When supported, children, and adults, are able to fully experience and move through their feelings rather than getting stuck in them. Most importantly, there is no right or wrong way to grieve. No judgment.

There is no expiration time with grief. Sometimes people allow themselves little access to their feelings because they believe they’re too big for them to feel and years or decades later begin feeling the grief. From my experience with the death of my father, mother and my bonus father and mother, grief comes in waves. My dad made his transition in 1997 when I was not a parent. My mother, father-in-law, and mother-in-law died within 6 months of each other from September 2007-March 2008. Our daughter was 6 turning 7 and their deaths were very hard on her as she was close to all of them. She still feels the loss of her grandparents. There were a few times when it was hard for me to comfort her because I was experiencing my own grief. I didn’t hide my feelings from her yet I didn’t put them on her to handle either. I knew as the adult that I could process my feelings with my husband, a trusted friend, or, a spiritual practitioner. I made a decision to be present for her experience. What I learned as a parent of a young child walking through the death of my loved ones and my clients experiences, I wrote about in my latest Huffington Post blog.

When they come to us with questions about this topic, here are 12 Steps to Help You Talk With Your Children About Suicide:

1.  Allow them to lead. Don’t presume that you know what they’re feeling. You may check in with them and ask if there’s anything they’re wanting to talk about. If they haven’t asked, they may not have heard. You may decide how and when to share the news with them if you’re concerned that they might hear it out of context from a friend or stranger.

2.  How old is your child? The younger the child, the more abstract a concept death is. For younger children, too many details are overwhelming. It’s important to know your child and to know where they are developmentally and emotionally. You don’t want to “give them a suitcase that is too heavy to carry,” emotionally. The older your child, the more scary and confusing news like this can be.

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3.  Connection between you and your child is the true goal of the parenting. It’s important to let your children know that you are a safe, comforting space for them to share all their feelings with — the bright and shiny and the dark and murky — without judgment or impatience.

4.  Don’t tell them how they should or shouldn’t feel and don’t impose your beliefs about death and eternal life on them. They live with you so they know what you believe. It cuts off connection with you when you do this, especially when they enter the tween and teen years.

 To read the remaining steps of this Huffington Post article, CLICK HERE.

Please share this post with all you may feel would benefit.


Until next time, know that you are powerful beyond measure and loved beyond description. You are a force for good!

Peace and blessings,

Wendy-Silvers-ALSP-C.H.t-Founder-Million-Mamas-Movement-200x3005058958884c49f7569002b9e

NOT ON OUR WATCH #BringBackOurGirlsAlive

Mini-Vigil and Prayer Gathering 

 lead by MMM founder & Spiritual Midwife, Wendy Silvers, May 9th

 

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So disturbed by the abduction of the 234 Nigerian girls, Wendy Silvers found herself in contemplation and meditation on what could be done and as she did, the words NOT ON OUR WATCH moved through her awareness. She began posting NOT ON OUR WATCH #bringbackourgirls and inviting others to do the same until she saw #bringbackourgirlsalive realizing that this distinction was relevant and changed it to NOT ON OUR WATCH #bringbackourgirlsalive


Here’s what you can do
: Show your support for the return of the girls and for the end of human trafficking. Upload photos like these to your own timeline and tag us @millionmamasmovement or upload photos directly to the Million Mamas Movement facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/millionmamasmovement.  Stay informed and aware, and, hold for the highest and greatest outcome for the girls.

Read Mama Wendy’s blog post, Not On Our Watch, by clicking this link: www.huffingtonpost.com/wendy-silvers/not-on-my-watch_b_5278019.html

NOT ON OUR WATCH!

 

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There is nothing I cherish more than being mother to my daughter. I feel waves of gratitude cascading through me that she is safe with me while painfully aware that on the other side of the world there is craziness and violence unfolding. Attacks in the village that military troops used as a base to search for the 234 girls who were abducted 2 weeks ago. My prayers go out to the parents of these young girls between the ages of 16-18 who were snatched from their beds at school, to the classmates and teachers who witnessed this drama unfold before their eyes. A universal desire of parents is to know and trust that their children are safe.

The outrage and sadness I feel at the abduction of these young girls in Nigeria cannot be described. I am happy that that the world is responding yet I think why must tragedy move people to open their hearts. We are living in an age of great enlightenment. Let the Global family be a healthy one who practices compassionate communication and moves through conflict resolution in life-affirming ways. “Rise up,” I say, “rise up to be the peace, love, compassion, generous being that you are.” The Million Mamas Movement invites you to add to this to your tweet, NOT ON OUR WATCH #bringbackourgirls

Let us be the bringers, the holders, of compassion in action, peace in practice, peace in our daily living for everyone, everywhere. Let us infuse the collective unconscious with the fierce, unyielding power and energy of the Mother, whether you are female or male. It is the Great Mother energy that marches for peace, who demands that things change NOW, who will not be moved until things do change. The Mamas and Papas for peace. How ironic is it that Africa is the called, “the cradle of all creation; the Mother Land.” Mother, your children need you.

When I watched a video that was posted on CNN, I saw a random soldier from the radical group, Boko Haram look into the camera, smiling as he stated, “we took the girls.” Abubakar Shekau, the leader of this group said in the same video on Monday, “I abducted your girls. I will sell them in the market, by Allah,” he said. “There is a market for selling humans. Allah says I should sell. He commands me to sell. I will sell women. I sell women.” This is systemic misogyny dressed up as religious fanaticism.

My mind reels with thoughts of disbelief and horror as I strive to ground myself with spiritual truth. In my moments of meditation, I ask myself, “What kind of madness is this? What is within the collective unconscious that would allow this to occur anywhere in the world? What is seeking to express through this situation? Will this incident bring light to this horrible practice that occurs?” Human trafficking occurs in the States as well as overseas. It is deplorable and it must cease to exist. It is Universal principle that we are all connected. I know that what happens in one place affects us all as is evidenced by the outpouring of support for these girls from around the world.

I am in an inquiry as to the misuse of this creative intelligence that we all have within us. My training as a teacher of nonviolence has me inquire, “What are the unmet needs within these men that fosters this kind of violence and then has them justify their acts? It is clearly fueled by a fanaticism that distorts truth and removes any sensitivity for another’s welfare from their awareness. I wonder if these men experienced violence in their childhood. Were they taken from their mothers too soon? Did their fathers teach them to respect women? How can someone misconstrue a God who would tell men to kidnap anyone, let alone a female child and sell her? How can Western education be anything but threatening to people who follow lockstep a belief that is self-denying and hurtful to another? It makes sense to me that anyone who has this narrow a perspective on life would resent any form of education that allows people to be free thinkers. Free thinkers question the status quo and democracy is built upon questions being asked. We Americans may be going through deep political changes but when an injustice like this occurs, we stand up like nobody’s business. Nations unite in service to justice. I tweet #bringbackourgirls and walk around saying, “NOT ON OUR WATCH!”

The situation in Nigeria has me think about ignorance, prejudice and racism – our American nation appears to be a diverse melting pot yet underneath the veneer of people pronouncing how far we have come, I have seen and heard the simmering hatred for another’s seeming differences. We saw what occurred with the hatred toward Muslims in the United States after 9/11, what emerged during the election and re-election of President Obama and the death of Trayvon Martin. I have a dear, sweet Muslim friend who cherishes her Islamic faith. She has shared with me the beauty of her faith and it has nothing to do with violence or hurting another person. I appreciate her deep devotion to her faith. I want people to know that this militant group in Nigeria doesn’t represent the Islamic faith my friend has shared with me. The soldiers in this group are scary, scared and scarred. They are not connected to their hearts, they do not stand for transformation or liberation; they are disenfranchised and disconnected. Hurt people hurt people. It is this quote from Martin Luther King, Jr. that encourages me to hold the highwatch for this and other injustices.

 

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Who of us who is a parent or has a child in our lives that we love deeply can turn a blind eye towards this situation when we know that these abducted girls who are between the ages of 16-18 are planning on being sold like animals? This is a time for all of us to come together, band together, stand together, pray together. Nowhere in our world should a child or adult be kidnapped and sold! One of my she-roes, Malala Yousafzai has said that these girls are her “sisters.” These girls are our daughters – we take care of the children.

 

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The US holiday, Mother’s Day, is upon us in a few days. As it draws close, I am reminded of the purpose behind the original Mother’s Day Proclamation that Julia Ward Howe crafted. It wasn’t a Hallmark holiday of candies, flowers and presents. It was a call to action for all women, particularly mothers, to come together, protest the casualties of war, and demand that human rights precede politics. Human rights are political. Everything we do is political for the choices we make, the actions we take and where we choose to spend our money represents what we value. It is as Marianne Williamson has said in her current political campaign, ” a time to bring consciousness to politics.” Right now, take a moment and read the Mother’s Day Proclamation slowly, line by line:

Arise, then, women of this day! Arise all women who have hearts,
whether our baptism be that of water or of fears!

Say firmly: “We will not have great questions decided by
irrelevant agencies. Our husbands shall not come to us, reeking
with carnage, for caresses and applause. Our sons shall not be
taken from us to unlearn all that we have been able to teach
them of charity, mercy and patience.

We women of one country will be too tender of those of another
country to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs. From
the bosom of the devastated earth a voice goes up with our own.
It says “Disarm, Disarm! The sword of murder is not the balance
of justice.”

Blood does not wipe our dishonor nor violence indicate possession.
As men have often forsaken the plow and the anvil at the summons
of war, let women now leave all that may be left of home for a
great and earnest day of counsel. Let them meet first, as women,
to bewail and commemorate the dead.

Let them then solemnly take counsel with each other as to the
means whereby the great human family can live in peace, each
bearing after their own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar,
but of God.

In the name of womanhood and of humanity, I earnestly ask that a
general congress of women without limit of nationality may be
appointed and held at some place deemed most convenient and at
the earliest period consistent with its objects, to promote the
alliance of the different nationalities, the amicable settlement
of international questions, the great and general interests of
peace.

Julia Ward Howe

Now, that you’ve read this proclamation, take another moment and dive deep into your heart. Where can you activate your fierce mothering power in support of these girls and other children who need help? Activate your WOMB wisdom, translate your power in to effective action.

 Never doubt that one action taken by many creates transformation. Everything you do matters.

Here are some specific steps you can take

1. Pray –  go into the inner sanctuary within you and fortify yourself

2. Tweet NOT ON OUR WATCH #bringbackourgirlsalive

Use Social media to spread the word and keep the pressure on officials. Keep posting NOT ON OUR WATCH #bringbackourgirls.  Post this illustration by Emily McDowell.

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3. CALL the Nigerian Embassy 202.986.8400. Tell Ambassador Prof. Ade Adefuye this: NOT ON OUR WATCH #bringbackourgirls

4. SIGN THE PETITION

http://www.change.org/petitions/over-200-girls-are-missing-in-nigeria-so-why-doesn-t-anybody-care-234girls

 

5. Don’t give up. Keep moving forward taking actions that you can take. It makes a difference.

YOU make a difference!

 

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Wendy Silvers is a Spiritual Midwife and Women’s Empowerment Coach, Agape Licensed Spiritual Therapist, A MamaActivist, Bestselling co-author of Balance for Busy Moms, Compassionate Parenting Educator and founder of the Million Mamas Movement. Follow her on Twitter:  @Wendy Silvers and @millionmamas.

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